Dark times sometimes come creeping in, unannounced, unnoticed… They take you by surprise, and you look for the weapons to cope with them and you cannot find anything but a blinking browser page and old songs that made you feel better once… Sometimes you don’t even want to pull through, you stay numb, letting yourself be engulfed in the waves, there’s a kind of comfort in letting the water come up to your neck, over your head, wrapping you in a tight embrace, with an eerie promise that at least, this pain, this pain is yours, and yours alone, and it will never let you go…
When words are all you can talk to, because people will never understand. Because you have tried to talk, to justify, to explain, to beg, to cry… The world can be such a cruel place. Sometimes, problems cannot be made better. They are just these monsters which feed on you, eating away at every little bit of hope you had. They have fooled you, befriended you, learned all your fears and weaknesses, plotted and plotted behind your back. You thought they were friendly souls… But in dark times, they show their true faces… they lash out relentlessly, not stopping till you have been forced to your knees… A sad slob of a being, a worm, a slug, some sorry nothingness that they will crush under their feet.
Then you lose all your sanity. You no longer know the meaning of logic, of whats right or wrong, of who’s right who’s wrong. Your senses come to the rescue as best as they can, but all you really want to do is cry, let it all out, let the pain come out in waves and throbs and screams. What did I do to deserve this? How much bad karma has earned me this pain? Am I such a vile person? Will I ever survive this?
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Rumi
“These pains you feel are messengers… Listen to them.” Rumi
“The cure for pain is in the pain.” Rumi
“When inward tenderness finds the secret hurt, pain itself will crack the rock and–ah!–let the soul emerge.” Rumi
“What hurts you blesses you. Darkness is your candle.” Rumi
“You have to keep breaking your heart till it opens.” Rumi
“Don’t get lost in your pain, know that one day your pain will become your cure” Rumi
Soundtrack: Switchfoot – Let that be enough
There is no conclusion to this post because I guess that the only thing that heals pain is… time…